School Ties

The content of this article comes with a trigger warning as I discuss issues of abuse, sexual grooming, and pain.

Child Protection Week for 2024 began on 19 May. SGBVF (sexual gender-based violence and femicide) and child abuse are a pandemic on their own, and as we attempt to create awareness, we all need to be actively working and doing what we can do in our immediate spaces with resources that we have access to. As media practitioners, our platforms are where we can call to action and attempt to bring an end to child abuse. The process included unpacking all facets and providing motives to unlearn and further learn.

Off the heels of the new series on MNT, School Ties debuted on 16 May 2024 at 21:00. School Ties is a ground-breaking and harrowing four-part documentary series about the grooming and sexual abuse of learners at some of South Africa’s most prominent, prestigious boys’ schools. Produced by Idea Candy, the docuseries uncovers the truth behind grooming and abuse in schools across the country, the aftermath, and what government, schools, and society are doing to stop abuse in its tracks.

I had the opportunity to chat with the series director Richard Finn Gregory and Luke Lamprecht, who is a thought leader on child protection and development, with three decades of experience working in the nonprofit and child protection sector.

Over the years, media headlines have shown that there is a crisis in our schools, over and above the educational and poverty issues. From a media point of view, Richard explained why the producers chose to embark on the project and why they took their time and sought advice from experts. As sexual abuse and grooming in schools have been a crucial problem for a while, he and the producers didn’t know enough about the topic and made a concerted effort to research and learn from experts in the field. In their research, they discovered that abuse takes place in many schools and different ways. They discovered that in the less privileged schools, abuse is more transactional, with sexual favours for good grades. In the elite school, which is the focus of the series, School Ties, the abuse is often insidious as the learners are aware of their privilege and do not want to do anything to jeopardize that. A large part of these schools’ culture is the importance of loyalty, which often leads to secrecy and protection of the well-established boy’s clubs. The young scholars don’t want to let their peers down and go against the entrenched school reputation. Unfortunately, perpetrators are aware of these environments and know how to then prey on these boys. It is often decades before they are caught.

There is a distinctive form of sexual grooming in prestigious schools that we as a society should be aware of. To further equip ourselves, let’s learn some of the terminology.

Luke introduced me to the concept of career offenders.
A career offender is a person who chooses a career that gives him access to children and then makes it a career of abusing juveniles. Their process is strategic as they start by grooming the school (the employer), then they groom the parents to get access to the children.

There are four pre-conditions for abuse to occur.

1. Motive of the sex offender (their sexual attraction to children). This is crucial, to be frank on this issue as rape culture has allowed us to rationalize certain cases such as giving the excuse that perpetrators were abused as children, therefore that is what they become abuses themselves. This is known as the vampire myth. The Vampire myth of males as victims of abuse becoming abusers is a disincentive.
2. Offenders need to overcome their internal inhibitors. These men know what they are doing is wrong, so they enforce keeping it a secret. The Secret is the power of the abuse. Further illustrating the codes and loyalty of the elite schools, where secrecy is woven through the school tapestry.
3. Parents must pay attention as those are the external inhibitors, the perpetrator’s fear of being called out. Luke emphasized that parents need to play an active role in their children’s lives. The abusers fear being called out which could lead to unemployment, their strategies dismantled, and in some cases criminal records.
4. Overcoming of child’s resistance is done through grooming.
   The physical force of actual abuse such as kidnapping and abduction is key but is a minute proportion in terms of the actual grooming, which takes different forms, such as online grooming through chat rooms, social media, and physical. The perpetrators will identify a set of favourites, usually vulnerable or elite boys. The next step would be to isolate the children from their parents and peers.
   Perpetrators will follow what is called boundary violations. Examples of this would be in the scenarios of an elite school, where the lecturer/teacher/old boy would send texts or messages to a young boy. These messages would include inappropriate messages, late at night. Messages such as referring to their bodies, or topics that and not connected to school activities, violations include using the language of a teenage boy.

Taboo violations are when the adult allows, facilitates, and participates in inappropriate behaviors, such as providing drinks or drugs. When these events take place, the secrecy creeps in. The child feels complicit in the circumstance and therefore won’t reveal the truth or share the inappropriate behavior out of fear of being reprimanded as the activities involved were illegal or against school policies. The guilt and shame that they feel is often the reason why they don’t talk.

The perpetrator will then test to see if the child will say something and if not, then they know that can push the boundaries to further violations. Once again, secrecy surfaces as it is kept throughout the relationship. If it gets to the point when they feel the child will start talking, the threats step in further instilling fear in the child.

The aftermath that often occurs is a series of denials from people whom they share their ordeals with. So if the child shares to school as in the case with one of the headmasters in the series, he denied that it could ever happen. Denial is a strong component of rape culture. This minimizes the abuse, which is another form of gas-lighting. In many rape cases, the victims have been blamed for the abuse.

In the series, the production team handled the honest conversations conducted with the parents with such sensitivity and care. Richard explained that before the production even began, they had hours of meaningful conversations with the parents. This is a great lesson to other media houses as speaking is healing but can also be retraumatizing, as they have to relive and talk about the past trauma and process their pain.
This is the reality for many victims/survivors and why many do not follow the judicial route. The process of sharing their experience so many times before an attempt at justice. In the case of abuse in schools, the child will share with their parents and or teacher, and they then must report to the education boards. The police, and medical practitioners could be brought in, then the legal process which includes lawyers, magistrates, press, and more.

Secondary victimization is apparent in abuse cases as with the denial, the victim’s credibility is questioned and they are sometimes called a liar. In many cases, the alleged perpetrator is acquitted due to lack of evidence. Often victims/survivors become tired and re-traumatised and end up dropping the charges. The perpetrators then continue with their lives.

One of the main goals of the series is to help parents schools and children identify the red flags and what grooming looks like. The series highlights what to do when red flags come up and what are the normal procedures. The conversations give schools and parents guidelines on how to prevent possible abuse. The parents are in control of their own stories.

The myths and misconceptions of what perpetrators look like.
The series illustrates that perpetrators are not the fictional characters lurking in dark alleys, they can be the guys next door. In the schools, they can be ‘The old boys’ in the prestigious school who are employed to teach young boys. Luke further shared that perpetrators are people who surround us and are our friends. They have to disguise themselves to get access to children. There is no concrete profile of an offender as we cannot spot them by the way that they look. The lesson to parents is that everybody is suspicious and is a potential offender.

A quick guide for parents to follow, should they have to proceed through the judicial system.

The important aspect is that we need to stop further abuse cases. To do this, abuses should be identified as soon as possible. By law, once children share abuse, the schools have to report the crimes. The sexual offenses act and Children Act also protect children.
The process includes making a report at the school, who has to notify the education board. In some cases, medical examinations are needed and the police are included. If it gets to the courts, the state will have to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. The child will be cross-examined, which could cause further trauma. Then sentencing takes place. If incarcerated, the next phase is when parole takes place, it is then up to the victims to keep them in jail, and victim mediation- further traumatizing the victims.
President Ramaphosa announced the 5-point plan that the system will create a space where the victim will be a centric one, this is untrue. It is not a victim-centered system but rather designed to make sure that the guilty go free.
Children are often reluctant to disclose. Disclosure happens in two possibilities. A purposeful disclosure- a child reveals the truth by telling us. An accidental disclosure is when the truth unravels accidentally such as the child is diagnosed with an STI or there is a witness or a recording.

In conclusion, those who speak out against abuse, need support, especially children. They face so many additional obstacles from navigating the judicial system and societal attitudes, and trying to find healing over and above the actual traumas.

The expert support and opinions that provided valuable insight for the development and production are Robyn Vorster, founder of For the Voiceless, advocating for the rights of vulnerable children. Dumisile Nala from Childline South Africa, Olivia Jasriel from The Jasriel Foundation; SADAG, SAPS, and Luke Lamprecht.

The most important voices were the victims/survivors who dared to speak out and tell their truths.
Sharing your truth comes at a cost not only to the one harmed but also to the family. The backlash from their peers, school, and society who often try and silence them, has detrimental effects on one well-being and psyche.

I salute those voices who stood tall and helped save so many other boys from abuse.

#SchoolTies #Ideacandy #Mnet101 #Speakingthroughmyworld