Respect safe spaces.

Respect the safe spaces and maintain consent.

The term safe space generally means “a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment or any other emotional or physical harm.” (Oxford Dictionary).

When somebody shares a traumatic experience with you, appreciate that space. Many victims take time to speak out for several reasons. Society is quick to mock and criticise those that speak out. Our community often question their credibility. It is common for perpetrators and their supporters to gaslight the person and make them believe that the trauma is their fault. All of these actions and more fall under the terminology known as Rape Culture. 

According to https://www.marshall.edu/wcenter/sexual-assault/rape-culture/

“Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.”

When somebody finds the courage to speak, listen and give respect to that space. 

Consent: 

GBV happens against consent. If you want to tape the conversation, make sure the victim/survivor is aware of the recording and has permitted you to share the details and recording.  

Confidentiality is one of the essential elements that lead to an increased sense of security for survivors. Sharing their trauma without consent is a further violation.  

Speaking out takes a tremendous amount of strength but do not confuse that strength. Sharing one journey does not equip anyone for the public scrutiny that follows. Public opinion can be brutal, and if the perpetrator is powerful or connected politically, it can have even more dangerous effects on the psyche and well being of the victim/survivor. It does not matter if the person is an activist, man or child. 

In 2018, I was invited into a safe space to share my trauma. I believed that stakeholders would respect that. I soon discovered the planner shared some of the information on a public platform. The posting is a violation of the safe space. This action created additional trauma for myself and other survivors in the room, which led to mental breakdowns for some of us. 

GBV has been a pandemic for centuries, and we all need to do our bit in combating it. We need to listen and be gentle with others and ourselves. Read and listen to those that have done the research and groundwork. Have the respect and understanding that it involves feelings, psyche and emotions. Humans are hurt and need healing. Healing is different for everyone, and there is no time limit. Respect each other 

For counselling and/or Life coaching contact https://www.letsatsihealingspace.biz/

POWA Press Statement regarding​ the Babes Wodumo video that was posted on Instagram.

POWA is aware of the video that is currently trending on social media about the “alleged” Mampintsha abuse video of Babes Wodumo. This presents the realities that most women in South Africa are experiencing on daily basis. The statistics of intimate partner violence are currently alarming and increase daily. The South Africa President on the Gender-based Violence summit that was conducted in November 2018 and the State of the Nation Address (SONA) February 2019 confirmed that the country is a crisis with regard to violence against women and girls. This necessitates that proactive measures be put in place to address the current status, this includes amongst others re-establishing the National Council on Gender-Based Violence and developing a National Action Plan on Gender Based Violence that is economically viable, time-bound with proper accountability measures and monitoring. However, it was disappointing that during the current budget speech February 2019, Minister of Finance did not allocate a budget towards the promises made during the GBV Summit and SONA to address the violence against women and girls. This, therefore, shows that there is no political will to address the status quo, and it can be taken that our government just does a lip service.
The current “alleged” Mampintsha abuse video of Babes Wodumo is one of the many cases that bring a face to the statistics of violence against women and girls. Irrespective of the fact that a lot of women still die in silence, due to the current status where women are stigmatised and not protected. Women continually live in fear of their lives even in the hands of their intimate partners.
POWA’s advice to women is not to ignore signs of abuse in relationships, report abuse, and consult for psychosocial support in order to be assisted to have the strength to go through a tedious process of the criminal justice system and exiting an abusive relationship when necessary. Whatever evidence that there may be to an alleged criminal matter like in the current matter is not enough unless a context is created by the complainant or victim to give it effect to the evidence. This also assists the criminal justice system in using the law to protect women from violence. For proper dispensation of justice, women are encouraged not to withdraw their cases, and this is possible when we utilise available psychosocial service.
POWA once again is pleading with the members of the criminal justice system to take violence against women and girls seriously, not trivialise it and apply the law to the letter to protect lives. We also recommend that the suspects in domestic violence cases should not be given bail, based on the sensitivity of domestic Violence. This does not only affect the victim but the rest of the family members, and often times the suspect when given bail usually interferes with the state witness and family members committing more offences that could have been avoided.

For Further assistance and access to psychosocial social services for support please contact POWA at​ 011 642 4345/6
Website: http://www.powa.co.za
Like us on Facebook: POWA
Follow us on Twitter: POWA_ZA
Instagram: POWA_ZA

The war on women’s bodies.

The war on our bodies has been an ongoing struggle for decades, dating back to the 1970’s. People Opposing Women Abuse (POWA) was formed in 1979 by a group of women volunteers in order to provide referral services and shelter to women experiencing domestic violence.
The word “jack-roll” or ‘jack rolling”, started during the 1980s by a gang called ‘the jackrollers’, it was the abduction of women in townships who would then subjected to lengthly periods of gang rape.

It was only after The Bill Of Rights was signed, did women receive formal recognition as equal citizens. For many years South African women were under the legal control of their fathers and husbands, this is still the same in many African countries.
The domestic violence act 116 of 1998 was signed: To provide for the issuing of protection orders with regard to domestic violence; and for matters connected therewith.

About ten years ago, somebody asked me when I will stop marching and pushing the anti-abuse campaign, my answer was when the abuse stops.

I have written many blogs on the state of affairs regarding rape and abuse in 2014 I wrote about a women who called out for help after she had been raped, she called on the police for assistance, her response came from the Hillbrow police station where six policemen( Men) were called to a rape case, they found the perpetrator and let him go. The survivor was present and requested medical attention, they denied that and told her to sleep it off as she had been drinking. I have highlighted on many cases where survivors have received ill treatment from police personnel when trying to report a case. Like many activists and organisations, this outcry and call has been the forefront of many campaigns, yet there has been very little change.
Over the past years we have seen the disrespect of women’s lives from the very publicised murder cases such as Oscar Pistorius, who killed his girlfriend Reeve Steenkamp and received a reduced jail sentence to Shrien Devani who was acquitted for murdering his wife Anna Dewani and Thato Kutumela who was sentenced to 20 years behind bars for the murder of his girlfriend, Zanele Khumalo. Former Soweto community radio presenter Donald “Donald Duck” Sebolai was sentenced to 20 years in prison for murdering his girlfriend, Rachel “Dolly” Tshabalala.
Unfortunately they have been hundreds if not thousands who have gone unnoticed.

Women in our present day still face many obstacles and challenges which can be related to poverty, violence and abuse in the home, unemployment, access to quality health care and legal representation.
Financial dependance of their male partners or husbands has increased vulnerability to domestic violence and rape.
The girl child has been greatly affected by the personal home front as well as discrimination at school, from the subject choices which have seen to be suitable fro male learners, girls have been sexually harassed, raped and abuse, some forced to drop out due to teenage pregnancy, possibly caused by rape. Many young girls miss school during their menstrual cycles as they cannot afford sanitary towels and tampons.

Over the past few weeks there has been in increase in reported crimes against women. These barbaric acts have been publicised and there has been a huge outcry from all sectors, that we need an intervention. This is true but we need to understand and own up to the fact that this has been on ongoing problem for years. The change that has occurred is that more incidents are being reported and now we hear a strong outcry from men.
The rate of crimes and murders that have escalated within the LGBT community. Due to the stigma attached many cases are not even heard and still remain unresolved.

Where to from now?
To start with, our men need to hold each other accountable. Many years ago I dated a man who’s business partner continuously made jokes about beating up women and this frustrated me, causing many arguments in our home. My then partners undermining attitude was that it was just a joke and I should get over it by response was and still is the same, if you joke about it, you condone the action. We need to create a shift in our conversations and attitudes towards women.

Gender equality starts in the home. There should not be gender specific roles for boys and girls, parents should be seen as equal. Children are taught and emulate what their parents do. Fighting in the home has proven to have lifelong effects on children. Many people decide to remain in abusive relationships as they feel that separation will affect the children, the violence and hatred is what affects the children.
If incidents happen at schools and remain unresolved, notify the department of eduction. No child should be scared to go to school or face any form df discrimination whilst trying to get an education.

The police need to be held accountable. Correct protocol measures need to be adhered with taking down reports, recording crimes and treatment of survivors.
We need harsher laws for rapists and abusers. Women need to stop being blamed for what happened to them. Victim blaming is still a major concern. I have made many reports and complaints to IPD with no response but if we get large number of valid complaints, then action will take place. Their contact details are:  
Address in Gauteng City Forum Building
 114 Madiba Street
 Pretoria
Telephone number: 012 399 0000

Email address

Complaints@ipid.gov.za

Our minister of police Mr Fikile Mbalula is very active on twitter: @mbalulafikile
 
Social media, should be used for good and not just scandal. If an incident occurs, recording it is necessary but so is justice. Record the dialogue and images but also record relevant information such as car number plates, what the perpetrator looks like, the exact location of where the crime takes place, such as a road sign, building structure etc
One should notify the police immediately and seek help for the survivor. We should make more citizen complaints, hold our police accountable. There are too many reported cased where investigating officers receive bribes and then in questioning the survivors, telling them that they should drop the case and convince them that they would not survive long trails. Granted trials are long and tedious and the incident will have to be repeated many a times but by keeping quiet will not help as the incident will still be repeated in your mind.

If you need assistance here are a few organisations that I have worked with and strongly endorse:

1. FEW: Forum For The Empowerment of Women
Call: +27 11 403 1906/7

Social media:
@forumfortheempowermentofwomen

Email
project1@few.org.za

Website:
http://www.few.org.za

FEW was established by black lesbian women activists living in Johannesburg in 2001.In a post 1994 South Africa and with the new constitution of 1996 recognising sexual orientation within the equality clause, it was clear that we had to organize ourselves to ensure that we were able to claim and live the rights entrenched in the constitution. Already, with increasing numbers of LGBTI people coming out and being visible both in everyday life as well as within human rights defending work, the age-old issues of discrimination, stigmatisation and marginalization were becoming more blatant. The group which initially began the conversation about organizing black lesbian women were concerned that within the broader LGBTI and women’s human rights issues, black lesbian women were more vulnerable because of intersecting identities, contexts and realities.
We also recognised the power within our community – both black lesbian women, women in general and the LGBTI community – to confront the abuses that were being perpetrated against us in a democratic South Africa. Initially, the focus was on social space and service provision, including counseling and information, education and communication on key issues, health and related realities of lesbian lives. A key focus was on the issue of hate crimes, particularly rape and sexual assault, which were being reported in growing numbers. The hate crimes were being perpetrated based on assumptions about sexual orientation and gender identity which were seen as deviant and so worthy of responses by communities. This homophobia was directed at all LGBTI people, but the targeting of black lesbian women for this “fixing” was obvious and linked to the patriarchal nature of our society which in turn fed heteronormativity. Projects included a small scholarship fund for survivors of hate crime related violence, drama and soccer as processes to engage with black lesbian women.

2. POWA: people Opposing Women Abuse:
Telephone: -11 642 4345/6
infor@powa.co.za
Twitter: @powa_za

POWA is a “feminist, women’s rights organisation that provides both services, and engages in advocacy in order to ensure the realisation of women’s rights and thereby improve women’s quality of life”.
POWA’s uniqueness as an organisation is in providing both services to survivors and engaging in advocacy using a feminist and intersectional analysis. Our work is rooted in the belief that change can only be said to be effective when women’s lives are directly improved through our interventions. We also believe that there is no single route to change, and thus constantly seek new and creative approaches in our programming to achieve the change we seek.

Frontline Services – Shelters, counseling, and legal advice
As one of our core frontline services, POWA provides shelter services for clients (and their children where relevant) who have been the victims of GBV. These services are located in the East and West Rand, and a “second stage” house is located in Berea. POWA also provides several forms of counselling to clients (including shelter clients), such as face-to-face counselling, support groups (facilitated by a social worker) and telephone counselling and referrals. The Legal and Advocacy Department at POWA also assist women (approximately 50 per month) with telephonic and face-to-face-legal advice to women, court preparation and support, and referral to other professionals and practitioners (pro bono).

Advocacy
The Legal and Advocacy Department at POWA works to “provide quality women-centred legal service and engage in national and regional advocacy for the protection and promotion of women’s rights.” POWA’s advocacy work includes advocating for legal reform, for example, parliamentary law reform submissions as well as strategic litigation. We actively participate in national advocacy. We are a member of the Solidarity for African Women’s Rights (SOAWR), a network of 26 Civil Society Organisations and Development Partners. In South Africa, POWA is the lead organisation spearheading the eight-nation Raising Her Voice Campaign, working to empower women to hold governments accountable to commitments on GBV and HIV.

Aluta Continua.

To continue the dialogue contact me via Facebook or twitter:
@RosieMotene.

Keeping our girls in school!

 I have been working within the activism space for over a decade now. I started with www.powa.co.za; I did an intensive three month training course, understanding what abuse is, the myths and misconceptions surrounding abuse, court preparation and what our rights are. On completion the course, I started working as training and public awareness volunteer, later I became a member of the board and soon I sat as vice-chairperson for a few years. I began my activist career with POWA as I came to the realisation that I had not truly healed from an abusive relationship. The relationship happened when I was at university and nine years after the incident, I still blamed myself. It was at the point of my life that I knew that although I had some of the best private school education, I was still uneducated. With my training at POWA, I used my public status to talk about my abusive partner, thus bringing healing to myself but I wanted to create awareness around the myths and misconceptions of abuse and let women know that they are not alone and more importantly, push the truth that if it is happening to you, then IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Over the years I have worked with many women and children’s organisations and I have helped promote various campaigns, including working with the V-day foundation, founded by the award winning playwright Eve Ensler, who wrote the award winning book: The Vagina Monologues. I have worked in many disadvantaged communities across Africa, where the main focus has been on education, empowerment and knowing what your rights are. As those messages are incredibly important, there is an important factor that many of us have overlooked when it comes to women empowerment and girl power. That is acknowledging the stigmas that are attached to menstrual health and the reality of how it affects many lives. This includes the fact that due to various living conditions of living below the poverty line, many women and girls cannot afford the necessary tampons/pads nor do they have access to constant running water and washing materials.

 After researching through various websites and organisations, I soon discovered that approximately 50% of the female population is of reproductive age and most of them are menstruating every month. The majority of these ladies have no access to clean and safe sanitary products, or to a clean and private space in which to change menstrual cloths or pads and to wash. In many communities, menstruation is supposed to be invisible and silent, and sometimes, menstruating women and girls are supposed to be invisible and silent, too. Millions of girls and women are subject to restrictions in their daily lives simply because they are menstruating. Besides the health problems due to poor hygiene during menstruation, the lack or unaffordability of facilities and appropriate sanitary products may push menstruating girls temporarily or sometimes permanently out of school, having a negative impact on their right to education. This is a serious problem.

 I then began to research other alternatives to sanitary pads and tampons, as they are incredibly expensive.

 According to http://www.africa.com, Stuart Lewis wrote:

“In her lifetime, the average woman uses 11 000 tampons, or 22 sanitary products (pads or tampons per period). In South Africa with the average tampon costing about R1.50 each (yes, that means R33 a period, or R16 500 in her lifetime) and a pack of 10 sanitary pads costing R18 (which translates to about R36 a period, or R19 800 in her lifetime). This means that having a period is an expense that many cannot afford. Most South Africans still live below the poverty line, which means that they must use alternative means of stemming the flow. These include using towelling or material which is rewashed. However, in some cases this too is unaffordable.”

 As there are many communities across the continent where people live below the poverty line, the situation is the same if not worse, as many communities across Africa do not practice gender equality and the challenges for girls and women are much higher.

 According to Africacheck.org:

Since 2014, various people have claimed that 7 million girls in South Africa are missing school every month because they don’t have access to or money for sanitary products.

 A UNESCO report estimates that one in ten girls in Sub-Saharan Africa misses school during their menstrual cycle. By some estimates, this equals as much as twenty percent of a given school year.

 So what is the solution to this problem? How can we ensure that girls do not have to miss school due to their menstruation cycles?

 

1. We need to break the stigmas and misconceptions that surround menstrual cycles.

• According to University of Melbourne research fellow Dr Carla Pascoe is that money can still be made from promising women a more effective way to conceal their period.
• In some societies, menstruation is perceived as unclean or embarrassing, extending even to the mention of menstruation both in public (in the media and advertising) and in private (amongst the friends, in the household, and with men). Many traditional religions consider menstruation as ritually unclean. 

 

We need to create platforms and educate young ladies, that menstruation a part of womanhood.

 

2. Finding a cost effective, hygienic product, that will allow them continue with their lives as normal.

 

I came across the PrincessD Menstrual cup.

 

The PrincessD Menstrual cup is a reusable, eco-friendly, cost-effective menstrual cup made of the highest quality medical grade silicone. It is available in 2 sizes (small and large).

The menstrual cup is the ideal, sustainable solution for girls in disadvantaged areas in the world.

 

How does it work?

 

• It comes in two sizes.

– SMALL (20ml)

For girls and women under 30 years old.

Suitable for a light flow.

 

– LARGE (25ml)

For women over 30 years old.

Suitable for a heavy flow.

 Why is the PrincessD menstrual cup so amazing?

• It offers up to 12 hours of leak-free protection.
• The cup is ultra soft and made from hypo-allergenic, non-absorbent medical grade silicone.
• It is biocompatible and approved by the FDA.
• It contains no bleach, deodorant or absorbing gels.
• It is eco-friendly and does not contribute to deforestation.
• It is easy to insert and remove.
• It collects and does not absorb.
• Depending on the flow it can be used for up to 12 hours as a time.
• Suitable for use during any sports and sleep
• It is reusable for up to five years.
• Washing it requires hot water. This is ideal for communities who have limited access to water. After wearing the cup for a full day, it can be removed, rinsed under hot water and reinserted.
• It is the greener alternative to disposable tampons and pads.

 

I have decided to partner with this revolutionary product after using the cup for three of my periods. I found it incredibly cost-effective and comfortable.

I will be pushing the brand across the continent and I am looking for Pan African partners.

We need to keep our girls in school.

If you are a corporate company or government or simply an individual who wishes to buy this product or help promote it across Africa, please do contact us. 

rosie@princessdmenstrualcup.com

www.princessdmenstrualcup.com

 

 

POWA Gala dinner

POWA Gala dinner

George Micheal gives to POWA.

The POWA One More Cry Campaign: Gala Dinner

Date: 25 November 2013

Venue: The Venue @ Melrose Arch

Cost : R850.

 

Al proceeds go to POWA:

. Established in 1979, POWA is a non-profit women’s rights organisation providing shelter services for victims of abuse (and their children where relevant), and quality woman-centred legal service. POWA also engages in National and Regional advocacy for the protection and promotion of women’s rights and advocates for legal reform, e.g. parliamentary law reform and strategic litigation.