The Queen Code

3 Oct

The Queen Code

Objectifying women’s bodies has been an ongoing struggle for centuries. Over the past decades we have seen and noted significant changes within society and media. These changes have moved away from observing women as sexual objects. We should celebrate the changes and strides that have been made, but we need to acknowledge that we still have a long way to go.

Here are a few advertisements taken from magazines from 1970’s to 2000’s.

Women’s bodies are used to sell products and their intelligence and ability are totally undermined.




Fast forward to 2016:

I am out with a group of male friends having fun at restaurant/bar. It was an evening that started with a few drinks that led into us dancing into the night. On return from taking a trip to the bathroom, I notice a group of young ladies standing near our table and I suddenly felt their glaring stare. I was a little confused as I had never seen these ladies before and therefore they had no reason to be giving me such foul looks. I continue with night of laughing, dancing and having fun. Within a few minutes these ladies are now part of our table dancing but still giving me strange looks. I expected them to perhaps smile or even introduce themselves. I’m not too concerned and since the men at the table did not flinch, I assumed that they were friends and welcomed the new friends. I was rather surprised that since these ladies were clearly part of our party, none of my male friends felt the need to introduce us, which would just be the courteous thing to do.

As the night continued the ladies seem to be pushing the agenda by thrusting their bodies, up onto the men in rather suggestive ways, within a few minutes, the males around and entertaining the actions and within seconds a session of dry humping had occurred. As the shenanigans continued, I noticed that the ladies were watching to see what my reaction was. I then realized that they were playing some sort of competitive game, or so they thought. What I still don’t understand is, how was I supposed to react to them?

The silly games even continue when I took another trip to the bathroom and one followed me to inform me that she had had a few sexual encounters with one of my male friends and she knows how to take care of him. I found it amusing at first, but then I felt perturbed as this beautiful women felt that is what her power was, that she ha been sexually involved with a man she believed to be my partner. How did we get to this point in society where we have made so many strides in the emancipation of women, yet these women had relegated themselves to be sexual objects to a group of strangers in a bar. What was more disturbing was that these women felt the need to try and make another women uncomfortable.

So at that point I had a few issues:

  1. Has partying and having fun turned into a competitive sexual game? Were they even attracted to the men at my table? Are they not happy with themselves to simply have fun with each other? Have they misunderstood the meaning of what independent women actually are?
  2. Why did the men at the table feel that it was alright to allow these women to simply join in, ignoring the fact that there was a lady present in their party. Why was it funny and acceptable to disrespect women in such an open manner?
  3. Is this the new way of women getting men to buy them drinks.
  4. The actual dry humping, of bending a woman over and thrusting at her from behind is a rather harsh manner, bragging to your friends. As women, are you really enjoying that action? As men, does this boost your masculinity?


So as we need to still educate men on respecting the ladies who are at the table, we still need to help our sisters on what being a queen is about, on what true independence is.

We need to reinforce the queen codes. Respect your bodies, do things for yourselves and be proud of who you are.

Going out and having fun with the gals is important, meeting new friends, male or female is essential but basing your fun of having to gyrate your bodies for a few shots of tequila and a glass of wine, lacks direction and vision.

There is nothing more powerful than a group of women stepping into a space, having fun and doing so on their own accord.

Ladies, society and men have created this level of completion between us, please let us break that bondage and start to celebrate our brilliance and pride. That is far sexier than lifting up your skirt and allowing a strange man, wearing a wedding ring slap your ass and dry hump you in a public place.






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